“Rates of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections are on the up so when you snuggle down with a partner, make sure you do it safely.” said a spokeswoman.

Gossip when the economy perks

When the economy’s rise has stumbled,
Derailed from its wax, shrivelled to a grovel
With no sign of light, and taxes grabble
At what money is left in old sweet tins
Dwelling in the nation’s now vacuous cupboards.
Circumstances leave one alternative,
For those lucky enough to still have beds.

News is that our exploits in the bedroom
Are replacing shopping and non-stop gossiping,
As national pastimes in the financial gloom.
The Scots are the most enthusiastic,
With forty-three percent listing sex as top
On their score sheets, of hobbies, they prefer
When cash is scarce, and the dark nights topple down;
‘Tis a cheaper way of central heating!
The Terrence Higgins Trust reminded all,
That we should buy, our favourite condoms
To help both Gordon Brown’s economy,
And keep away those sexual diseases.

© Edward Beaman-Hodgkiss

You can read the full story on the BBC website in this article titled ‘Britons ‘saving money with sex’ from the 1st of December.