If you decide to get married in a civil ceremony, you have the option of writing your own wedding vows. To many this is an extremely attractive proposition where a large measure of personal resonance can be incorporated into the marital promises a bride and groom make to one another. With the multitude of possibilities and the ever growing number of acceptable alternatives to the traditional vows, what are the steps to take in deciding what you will say?
Religious Views
Is religion to be included in the wedding ceremony or do the marrying couple want a more secular approach? This factor alone will play a large part in the style of vows you choose to use.
All in Agreement
Does your partner want to write their own vows as well? You both must be agreement as to the process that will be involved. Maybe your future wife prefers the more traditional approach. Talk also with the official who will be leading the service and ask for his or her advice. Then discuss various possibilities and ideas with your family and friends.
Work Together
If you have agreed to spend the rest of your lives together then this part should be easy. Discuss thoroughly what you want included and the general pattern of the special moment. Talk about the past, about when you first met, fell in love and proposed. Grooms, recollect what made you ask for her hand in marriage and how nervous or excited you were. Brides, do the same but how you felt to be on the receiving end of his proposal.
Spend time alone together writing poetry, reading creative writing books, listening to music whilst all the time contemplating using any little snippets of inspiration you get from such sources as material to build into your vows.
When you’re in the right mood, talk to one another about your feelings, your love and your future dreams. You’ll find many treasures that you share by doing this which would be ideal to use on the special day.
Finally decide on the number of lines you will create or a general time frame. This will prevent one partner speaking for ten minutes and the other for only ten seconds, which would cause much embarrassment.
Write and Practice
Once you have all the main points you want to include, then start writing the vows individually. Prepare to spend a lot of time on this and do not be afraid to rip pages up and toss them away if they are not to your liking. The vows in any type of wedding ceremony are the most important aspect of the whole day for you are making promises to your spouse in front of everyone, thereby solidifying your union as a married couple. You need to make them perfect.
Once you have the final scripts, then practice in front of a mirror. Stand upright and annunciate clearly and with confidence. Repeat over and over again until you have fully memorised your vows and can say them without slipping up or pulling faces. By saying them out loud you will also discover whether anything needs changing.
By following these steps you will enter into the special day with a renewed sense of conviction and self-assurance about the choices you have made and what the future holds. You will also make your spouse’s day more memorable.
Alternatively you can hire a professional writer to create a unique and very personalised set of wedding vows that you will remember for the rest of your lives. I can do this for you for a very reasonable fee. Contact Me.
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